The reason Chanukah movies suck*
Okay, given the fact that there is only one Chanukah movie, Eight Crazy Nights with Adam Sandler, I put forth that any other Chanukah movie would still suck just as bad as that one.
The reason that Chanukah movies suck, and would continue to suck in the future, is because it's not a real holiday. It's an excuse holiday. A holiday for Jews that want to prove they can be just as commercialized as Christians are.
The shocking thing is not how many Christians that I have talked to that believe that Chanukah is the most important holiday to Jews. The shocking thing is how many Jews believe it.
For those of you still ignorant - the most important holiday, a.k.a. holy day, in Judaism is Yom Yippur, the day of atonement. No, we don't give presents to anyone. We don't glut ourselves or do anything fun. We repent our sins. Yeah, it's a laugh riot.
Chanukah is the extremely minor holiday that celebrates a night when an olive oil lamp that should have only burned for one night stayed alight for eight nights. There are no presents involved in this story. In my opinion, Jewish parents got sick of hearing their kids talk about the goy kids getting presents, so they complained to their rabbis. Then the rabbis got together and commercialized Chanukah, because it falls closest to Christmas most of the time.
My proof? Chanukah bushes. Heard of them? Yeah. I don't need any more proof.
In any case, I don't think it's possible to get American Jews to give up Chanukah as a holiday. The commercial monster has sunk its teeth into the necks of the chosen people. Oh well. It's better to mess up a minor holiday than a major one anyway.
*My criticism of Eight Crazy Nights does not extend to Mr. Sandler's really quite funny Chanukah songs, which inspired the awful movie. The Hebrew Hammer doesn't count as a Chanukah movie. It's more about Christmas than Chanukah. In any case, it is also really, really funny.
Religious disclaimer: My parents are Christians. I converted to Judaism at 13. Thus, I feel qualified to bag on both religions with equal fervor.
The reason that Chanukah movies suck, and would continue to suck in the future, is because it's not a real holiday. It's an excuse holiday. A holiday for Jews that want to prove they can be just as commercialized as Christians are.
The shocking thing is not how many Christians that I have talked to that believe that Chanukah is the most important holiday to Jews. The shocking thing is how many Jews believe it.
For those of you still ignorant - the most important holiday, a.k.a. holy day, in Judaism is Yom Yippur, the day of atonement. No, we don't give presents to anyone. We don't glut ourselves or do anything fun. We repent our sins. Yeah, it's a laugh riot.
Chanukah is the extremely minor holiday that celebrates a night when an olive oil lamp that should have only burned for one night stayed alight for eight nights. There are no presents involved in this story. In my opinion, Jewish parents got sick of hearing their kids talk about the goy kids getting presents, so they complained to their rabbis. Then the rabbis got together and commercialized Chanukah, because it falls closest to Christmas most of the time.
My proof? Chanukah bushes. Heard of them? Yeah. I don't need any more proof.
In any case, I don't think it's possible to get American Jews to give up Chanukah as a holiday. The commercial monster has sunk its teeth into the necks of the chosen people. Oh well. It's better to mess up a minor holiday than a major one anyway.
*My criticism of Eight Crazy Nights does not extend to Mr. Sandler's really quite funny Chanukah songs, which inspired the awful movie. The Hebrew Hammer doesn't count as a Chanukah movie. It's more about Christmas than Chanukah. In any case, it is also really, really funny.
Religious disclaimer: My parents are Christians. I converted to Judaism at 13. Thus, I feel qualified to bag on both religions with equal fervor.
posted by Jessi at 8:04 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home